Host: What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Contestant: Hmmm...taptoy.
Host: What taptoy?
Contestant: Taptoy na teddy bird.
* * *
Host: If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl: Bocaue.
Host: Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines. Why Bocaue?
Girl: Because it’s a magnificent place.
Host: Which part of Bocaue?
Girl: The Bocaue Rice Terraces.
* * *
Host (of Little Miss Philippines contest): Anong gusto mo paglaki mo?
Contestant: Maging lalaki po!
* * *
Host: What is your best feature?
Contestant: My graduation feature.
* * *
Host: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant: Bra!
* * *
Host: What is your favorite motto?
Contestant: If others can’t why, why can’t I?
* * *
Host: What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant: Please come back.
* * *
Host (of a gay beauty contest): What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Contestant (Hesitating, thinking and then smiling): Eggplant po!
* * *
Host: What is your typical day?
Contestant: I think Saturday po!
* * *
Host (of a gay beauty contest): Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Contestant: I think and believe na bilang isang bading...ano nga po ulit ’yung question?
* * *
Host: What is your favorite motto?
Contestant (After a long pause): Don’t have a motto, eh. (The crowd helps her out, "Time is gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant: I have na po. Chinese gold!
* * *
Host: So you’re vegetarian. What is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant: I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and...what’s that? Kalabash?
* * *
Host: Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl: Jose Rizal. (Crowd starts laughing)
Host: Who is your favorite hero then?
Contestant: Hulk Hogan.
* * *
Host: If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Female Contestant: Hmmm... A bumble bee!
* * *
Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl: My edge...23 years old.
* * *
Host: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl: I’ll be 28.
* * *
Host: So you like reading. Who’s your favorite author?
Girl: Hmmm... Shakespeare.
Host: What works of Shakespeare?
Girl: Hindi ko po alam, eh.
Host: But he’s your favorite.
Girl: Eh kasi patay na siya, eh!
* * *
Host: What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl: Drugs.
Host: Why?
Girl: Mahal, eh!
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Enhancing Relationships
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose
number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than
you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed
suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose
number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than
you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed
suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
The Atheist and the Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods . . .
What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him. He turned to look; and there was a huge grizzly bear rushing
towards him. He turned and ran as fast as he could up the path. He
looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
Not seeing the path dip, he tripped and fell. Rolling over he saw the bear
right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his
right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my
God!..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and
even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you
out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical
of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could
You make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The bear dropped to his haunches, brought both paws together, bowed
his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty,
through Christ our Lord. Amen."
What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers!
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes
behind him. He turned to look; and there was a huge grizzly bear rushing
towards him. He turned and ran as fast as he could up the path. He
looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
Not seeing the path dip, he tripped and fell. Rolling over he saw the bear
right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his
right paw to strike him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my
God!..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky:
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and
even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you
out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical
of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could
You make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The bear dropped to his haunches, brought both paws together, bowed
his head and spoke:
"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty,
through Christ our Lord. Amen."
Slow Down Therapy
1. Slow down; God is still in heaven. You are not responsible for doing it
all yourself right now.
2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there. Each moment
has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.
3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them
they're pushing.
4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves
blow, your neighbor mow.
5. Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set. They are remarkable
for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.
6. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess.
God's gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.
7. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next.
Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.
8. Talk and play with children. It will bring out the unhurried little
person inside you.
9. Create a place in your home...at your work...in your heart...where you
can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.
10. Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't a luxury;
it's a necessity.
11. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by
words.
12. Give yourself permission to be late sometimes. Life is for living, not
scheduling.
13. Take time just to think. Action is good and necessary, but it's
fruitful only if we muse, ponder, and mull.
14. Make time for play - the things you like to do. Whatever your age, your
inner child needs re-creation.
15. Listen to the words you speak, especially in prayer.
16. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders. There
will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.
17. Divide big jobs into little jobs. If God took six days to create the
universe, can you hope to do any better?
18. Take time to read the Bible and inspiring words. Thoughtful reading is
enriching reading.
19. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and
efficiency. The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning,
not the one who finishes first.
20. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and
hermits without becoming one.
21. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.
22. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.
23. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the
invitations. Less really can be more.
24. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but often it is
the best.
25. Take a walk - but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere,
you sacrifice the walking.
26. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more,
you are blessed. Bless them in return.
27. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly.
all yourself right now.
2. Remember a happy, peaceful time in your past. Rest there. Each moment
has richness that takes a lifetime to savor.
3. Set your own pace. When someone is pushing you, it's OK to tell them
they're pushing.
4. Take nothing for granted: watch water flow, the corn grow, the leaves
blow, your neighbor mow.
5. Notice the sun and the moon as they rise and set. They are remarkable
for their steady pattern of movement, not their speed.
6. Quit planning how you're going to use what you know, learn, or possess.
God's gifts just are; be grateful and their purpose will be clear.
7. When you talk with someone, don't think about what you'll say next.
Thoughts will spring up naturally if you let them.
8. Talk and play with children. It will bring out the unhurried little
person inside you.
9. Create a place in your home...at your work...in your heart...where you
can go for quiet and recollection. You deserve it.
10. Allow yourself time to be lazy and unproductive. Rest isn't a luxury;
it's a necessity.
11. Talk slower. Talk less. Don't talk. Communication isn't measured by
words.
12. Give yourself permission to be late sometimes. Life is for living, not
scheduling.
13. Take time just to think. Action is good and necessary, but it's
fruitful only if we muse, ponder, and mull.
14. Make time for play - the things you like to do. Whatever your age, your
inner child needs re-creation.
15. Listen to the words you speak, especially in prayer.
16. Learn to stand back and let others take their turn as leaders. There
will always be new opportunities for you to step out in front again.
17. Divide big jobs into little jobs. If God took six days to create the
universe, can you hope to do any better?
18. Take time to read the Bible and inspiring words. Thoughtful reading is
enriching reading.
19. Direct your life with purposeful choices, not with speed and
efficiency. The best musician is one who plays with expression and meaning,
not the one who finishes first.
20. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and
hermits without becoming one.
21. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now.
22. Work with your hands. It frees the mind.
23. Once in a while, turn down the lights, the volume, the throttle, the
invitations. Less really can be more.
24. Let go. Nothing is usually the hardest thing to do - but often it is
the best.
25. Take a walk - but don't go anywhere. If you walk just to get somewhere,
you sacrifice the walking.
26. Count your friends. If you have one, you are lucky. If you have more,
you are blessed. Bless them in return.
27. Count your blessings - one at a time and slowly.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Ganito magbigay ng masamang balita
KUMIRIRING ang telepono nang madaling araw....
"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."
"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?
"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."
"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?
"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."
"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon. Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"
"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."
"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"
"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."
"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"
"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."
"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"
"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."
"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"
"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."
"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan 'yung kandila?"
"Para sa burol po."
"Ano? Kaninong burol?
"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."
"Hello, Master Carlos? Si Arnaldo po ito, 'yung katiwala niyo sa bahay-bakasyunan niyo."
"O, Mr. Arnaldo, ikaw pala. Ano't napatawag ka? May problema ba?
"Um, napatawag lang po ako para abisuhan kayo na namatay ang alaga niyong parrot."
"'Yung parrot kong si Pikoy, patay? 'Yung nanalo sa bird show?
"Opo, Master Carlos, 'yun na nga po."
"Putris ... sayang! Ang laki pa naman ng nagastos ko sa ibong 'yon. Hay, buhay! Teka, ano nga ba ang ikinamatay niya?"
"E, kumain po kasi ng bulok na karne...."
"Bulok na karne? At sino namang salbaheng tao ang nagpakain sa kanya ng bulok na karne?"
"W-Wala po. Nanginain po siya ng karne ng isang patay na kabayo."
"Patay na kabayo? Anong patay na kabayo, Mr Arnaldo?"
"E, 'yun pung mga thoroughbred horses niyo, Sir. Namatay po kasi lahat sila sa pagod, kahihila ng kariton ng tubig."
"Nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait? Anong kariton ng tubbbiiiiggggg?"
"'Yun pong pinampatay namin ng sunog."
"Diyos ko po! Anong sunog naman 'yang pinagsasasabi mo?"
"'Yun pong halos tumupok sa bahay niyo.... Tumumba po 'yung isang nakasinding kandila, tapos nagliyab 'yung kurtina at mabilis na kumalat ang apoy...."
"Ano? Puuut.... E, may kuryente naman diyan sa bahay-bakasyunan, a. Para saan 'yung kandila?"
"Para sa burol po."
"Ano? Kaninong burol?
"Sa nanay n'yo po, Sir. Bigla kasi siya dumating dito nu'ng isang gabi, walang kaabi-abiso. Lampas hatinggabi na. Akala ko po magnanakaw. Binaril ko."
Monday, December 19, 2005
Overcome Criticism and Learn from Your Mistakes
"Critical comments can be like a scalpel cutting to the bone," says Kare Anderson of Say It Better. Like it or not, everyone makes mistakes and poor decisions for which they receive criticism. And many professionals, no matter how hard they work to succeed, waste time with negative self-talk. They hope internal verbal abuse will make them better leaders.
Are We Too Hard on Ourselves?
Sometimes leaders should be hard on themselves, like in the cases of the illegal acts and highly unethical decisions that end up in the media. But people are frequently too hard on themselves about the occasional poor decision, tending to beat themselves up for one bad choice.
As children, we were told "no" more than 35,000 times before we entered kindergarten. Negative statements made by those professing to help us could be devastating. As we grew up, these negative statements made permanent impressions on our psyches. Then, as adults, we restate these negative comments internally any time someone criticizes our work or mentions our flaws. Within a few seconds, an entire lifetime of negativity surfaces, leaving us beaten and battered.
Women vs. Men
Experts say women tend to handle criticism and negativity differently from how men do. In fact, the old adage for businesswomen has been, "Die before cry!" Women tend to take such evaluation in the workplace much more personally. Women actually associate with the pain of a negative situation, while men disassociate from it.
One boss used to tell me to "toughen up," "thicken your skin" and "keep a stiff upper lip." I wasn't too crazy about his advice, but he helped me in my career. As a leader, I don't let criticism bother me so much and can overcome it more quickly.
Handle Criticism Like a Pro
According to Dr. Christina Swart-Opperman, a partner at PricewaterhouseCoopers, there are three A's to follow when presented with criticism: ask, acknowledge and add. In her bimonthly newsletter she says, "Immediately, your instincts kick in; you're hurt and offended, and you want to strike. Frequently, though, you'll only exacerbate the problem by responding with anger."
She suggests acknowledging the critic with a nod and a word or two to let him know you heard what was said, not that you agree. Don't immediately decide if the criticism is justified, and don't lay blame. Next, ask the critic to listen to your side of the story. The key is to consider the criticism rationally and not emotionally. Show you are willing to listen, and hopefully he will do the same. Finally, add your thoughts, and decide if you agree with the criticism. If you need to apologize, do so.
Some additional ideas to think about:
- Consider whether you need to make some personal changes.
- Say "stop" to yourself when negative self-talk starts.
- View the situation as a stepping-stone instead of a brick wall.
- Learn the lesson and move on. Never dwell on criticism.
- Don't hold grudges. They only hurt you, not the other person.
These steps will help you disassociate from the pain of the criticism and deal with the situation as a professional.
Learn from Your Mistakes
The famous motivator Denis Waitley says, "Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer." Business guru Tom Peters says, "Fail forward." Philosopher Jim Rohn says, "The only way to get more in life is to become more. We all experience criticism. The more we achieve, the more we get. Take a positive view of criticism and, allow it to take you to the next level."
This is sound advice, but refusing to accept personal responsibility for mistakes is the biggest error. Learn from mistakes, and don't get caught in the blame game. Move on, focus on the overall goal, and show your team you're a pro.
Pinoy Jokes Etc...
Papaano mo sasabihin ng buong galang sa kausap mo na bad breath siya na
hindi maoofend?
Ganito: "Mawalang galang na po... tae po ba ulam nyo kanina?"
MADRE: Ano ang apelyido mo, iho?
SAKRISTAN: Alam nyo na ho yun sister, lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan.
MADRE: Susme! Bayag ang apelyido mo?!
SAKRISTAN: Sister naman, Rosario po.
ATE: Musta date mo sis? Epektib ba payo ko, siling labuyo sa nipples mo
para di ka galawin ng bf mo?
SIS: Hay naku Ate, palpak! Ginanahan pa lalo, bicolano pala!
PUPIL: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot?
TEACHER: No! Definitely not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi
bumubukol ang utot...
PUPIL: Naku patay! Tae na to!
Pano kung di ka marunong magmahal?
Tapos biglang dumating sa buhay mo yung magtuturo sa yo?
Sa kabilang banda, minahal mo siya at nahulog ka sa... kanal...
Pano na yun? Mabaho ka na? Dyahe sa kanya di ba?
Lumindol ng malakas noon...
Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic!
Sumigaw ang isang lalaki..."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
sumagot ang isa pang lalaki...
"Tanga! Akinse pa alang!"
TINDERO: Sir bili na kayo ng kurtina!
ERAP: Sige, bibili ako para sa computer ko!
TINDERO: Bakit po para sa computer?
ERAP: Haler! May Windows din kaya yun!
PARI: Ang gustong magbigay ng donasyon sa simbahan, TUMAYO pagtugtog ng organ. Sige iho, tugtog na.
ORGANISTA: Ano po ang tutugtugin?
PARI: Pambansang awit, iho.
Mag-asawa having sex...
HUSBAND: Honey, mag dirty talk ka naman para ganahan ako!
WIFE: Ahhh...Shit! Basuraaa... Kanal... Taeee... Oooh... Patay na
dagaaaa!
After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa ari ng boy...
BOY: Gusto mo pa uli?
GIRL: Hindi, namimiss ko lang... Meron kase ako nito dati eh.
PARROT: Psst! Baho! Baho! Baho!
IKAW: Pag sinabi mo pa uli sa kin yan, papatayin kita!
D next day...
PARROT: Psst! Psst!
IKAW: O, Bakit?!
PARROT: Lam mo na yun!
hindi maoofend?
Ganito: "Mawalang galang na po... tae po ba ulam nyo kanina?"
MADRE: Ano ang apelyido mo, iho?
SAKRISTAN: Alam nyo na ho yun sister, lagi nyo po yun hinahawakan.
MADRE: Susme! Bayag ang apelyido mo?!
SAKRISTAN: Sister naman, Rosario po.
ATE: Musta date mo sis? Epektib ba payo ko, siling labuyo sa nipples mo
para di ka galawin ng bf mo?
SIS: Hay naku Ate, palpak! Ginanahan pa lalo, bicolano pala!
PUPIL: Mam, bumubukol po ba ang utot?
TEACHER: No! Definitely not! Kasi hangin lang yun! Remember, hindi
bumubukol ang utot...
PUPIL: Naku patay! Tae na to!
Pano kung di ka marunong magmahal?
Tapos biglang dumating sa buhay mo yung magtuturo sa yo?
Sa kabilang banda, minahal mo siya at nahulog ka sa... kanal...
Pano na yun? Mabaho ka na? Dyahe sa kanya di ba?
Lumindol ng malakas noon...
Nagkagulo ang lahat at nag panic!
Sumigaw ang isang lalaki..."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
sumagot ang isa pang lalaki...
"Tanga! Akinse pa alang!"
TINDERO: Sir bili na kayo ng kurtina!
ERAP: Sige, bibili ako para sa computer ko!
TINDERO: Bakit po para sa computer?
ERAP: Haler! May Windows din kaya yun!
PARI: Ang gustong magbigay ng donasyon sa simbahan, TUMAYO pagtugtog ng organ. Sige iho, tugtog na.
ORGANISTA: Ano po ang tutugtugin?
PARI: Pambansang awit, iho.
Mag-asawa having sex...
HUSBAND: Honey, mag dirty talk ka naman para ganahan ako!
WIFE: Ahhh...Shit! Basuraaa... Kanal... Taeee... Oooh... Patay na
dagaaaa!
After having sex, panay pa rin ang hawak ng girl sa ari ng boy...
BOY: Gusto mo pa uli?
GIRL: Hindi, namimiss ko lang... Meron kase ako nito dati eh.
PARROT: Psst! Baho! Baho! Baho!
IKAW: Pag sinabi mo pa uli sa kin yan, papatayin kita!
D next day...
PARROT: Psst! Psst!
IKAW: O, Bakit?!
PARROT: Lam mo na yun!
The Jar of Life
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...
and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly, and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full; they agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." A good one I think:
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things: your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions, things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter--like your job, your house, and your car.
The sand is everything else: The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just filler.
One of the students raised his hand and enquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Please share this with someone you care about. I JUST DID!
in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...
and the 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly, and the pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full; they agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." A good one I think:
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things: your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions, things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter--like your job, your house, and your car.
The sand is everything else: The small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just filler.
One of the students raised his hand and enquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Please share this with someone you care about. I JUST DID!
Use in a Sentence
1. Use TENACIOUS in a sentence. Tennis Ace
____ I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of
TENACIOUS Shoes .
2. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT,and DETAIL in a sentence.
____ DEDUCT Rubber Duck jumped over DEFENSE Peeking Over Fence ,first DEFEAT Foot and then DETAIL.
3. Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
____ I hear dripping in the sink.
Washing Dishes I think DEPOSIT Water is leaking.
4. Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
____ Jack and Jill got married on Nov. 1, 1997. So on Nov. 1,
1998, they are going to celebrate their PERSUADING Bride & Groom anniversary.
5. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
____ Every morning I wait for the bus at Bus DEVASTATION.
6. Use IRAQ, EGYPT, and IRAN in a sentence.
____ I threw IRAQ at EGYPT and then Running IRAN.
7. Use PAUL four times in a sentence.
____ PAUL, be care PAUL, you might PAUL Falling Down in the swimming PAUL. Swimming
8. Use CUISINE in a sentence.
____ I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a CUISINE Teacher math.
9. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
____ At the gas station, some people PAMPERS Gas Pump and some PAPERS Money Credit Card .
10. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
____ (phone rings).....Hello? On The Phone
Who SCHOOLING?
11. Use AFFECT in a sentence.
____ Maria is wearing AFFECT Engagement Ring diamond ring.
12. Use ADIEU in a sentence.
____ If you are ADIEU Menorah , the Arabs Muslim Man will kill you.
13. Use DECANTER in a sentence.
____ You can order that medicine over
!
Over The Counter DECANTER .
14. Use DEFLATE in a sentence.
____ Can you please wash DEFLATE Washing Dishes for me?
15. Use DELE! TION in a sentence.
____ The balat of DELETION Pig 2 is crispy.
16. Use DESPISE in a sentence.
____ Who baked all Pie DESPISE?
17. Use DIFFERENT and DIFFERENTIAL in a sentence.
____ I am looking for DIFFERENT Husband And Wife of this boy to get DIFFERENTIAL consent so he can go to the picnic.
AND NOW FOR THE FILIPINOS WHO CAN READ AND
UNDERSTAND TAGALOG:
18. Use BORROW in a sentence.
____ Ang dumi naman ng BORROW Dress mo.
19. Use CAESAREAN in a sentence.
____ Lintek, anak, mag-ingat ka, CAESAREAN Toy Truck mo iyang laruan mo.
20. Use CONTEMPLATE in a sentence.
____ Pare, ang dami-daming pagkain, pero,
Plate CONTEMPLATE .
21. Use ARTESIA in a sentence (if you don't know what this is, it's a city [or street] at the L.A. COUNTY in CALIFORNIA)
____ Nako naman, ang ganda-ganda nang bebot na yun,pero, ma-ARTESIA. Shy Girl
22. Use CADET in a sentence. Bachelorette Party
____ CADET ko si Maria nung isang gabi. Ngayon, ikaw naman ang CADET niya.
23. Use CARDIAC in a sentence.
____ Na CARDIAC Car 1 yung kotse ni Pedro noong isang gabi.
24. Use CENTURION in a sentence.
____ Na-CENTURION Moony si Pedro ng tatay niya dahil sa kalokohan niya.
26. Use DEFIED in a sentence.
____ What is 2 + 3? Eh DEFIED 5 , dali naman niyon.
27. Use DELICACY in a sentence.
____ Bagal mo... DELICACY Prison Guard mahuhuli na tayo.
28. Use DEPRECIATE in a sentence.
____ Sister, DEPRECIATE 7 already, kaya pwede na tayong kumain.
29. Use DIFFUSION in a sentence.
___ Brownout... Blackout siguradong DIFFUSION pumutok.
30. Use LAITY in a sentence.
____ Taga "laity" si Disco Dance Imelda Marcos.
31. Use MENTION in a sentence.
____ Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang House 2 MENTION.
____ I went to the shoe store to buy a pair of
TENACIOUS Shoes .
2. Use DEDUCT, DEFENSE, DEFEAT,and DETAIL in a sentence.
____ DEDUCT Rubber Duck jumped over DEFENSE Peeking Over Fence ,first DEFEAT Foot and then DETAIL.
3. Use DEPOSIT in a sentence.
____ I hear dripping in the sink.
Washing Dishes I think DEPOSIT Water is leaking.
4. Use PERSUADING in a sentence.
____ Jack and Jill got married on Nov. 1, 1997. So on Nov. 1,
1998, they are going to celebrate their PERSUADING Bride & Groom anniversary.
5. Use DEVASTATION in a sentence.
____ Every morning I wait for the bus at Bus DEVASTATION.
6. Use IRAQ, EGYPT, and IRAN in a sentence.
____ I threw IRAQ at EGYPT and then Running IRAN.
7. Use PAUL four times in a sentence.
____ PAUL, be care PAUL, you might PAUL Falling Down in the swimming PAUL. Swimming
8. Use CUISINE in a sentence.
____ I hope you studied last night because our teacher might give a CUISINE Teacher math.
9. Use PAMPERS and PAPERS in a sentence.
____ At the gas station, some people PAMPERS Gas Pump and some PAPERS Money Credit Card .
10. Use SCHOOLING in a sentence.
____ (phone rings).....Hello? On The Phone
Who SCHOOLING?
11. Use AFFECT in a sentence.
____ Maria is wearing AFFECT Engagement Ring diamond ring.
12. Use ADIEU in a sentence.
____ If you are ADIEU Menorah , the Arabs Muslim Man will kill you.
13. Use DECANTER in a sentence.
____ You can order that medicine over
!
Over The Counter DECANTER .
14. Use DEFLATE in a sentence.
____ Can you please wash DEFLATE Washing Dishes for me?
15. Use DELE! TION in a sentence.
____ The balat of DELETION Pig 2 is crispy.
16. Use DESPISE in a sentence.
____ Who baked all Pie DESPISE?
17. Use DIFFERENT and DIFFERENTIAL in a sentence.
____ I am looking for DIFFERENT Husband And Wife of this boy to get DIFFERENTIAL consent so he can go to the picnic.
AND NOW FOR THE FILIPINOS WHO CAN READ AND
UNDERSTAND TAGALOG:
18. Use BORROW in a sentence.
____ Ang dumi naman ng BORROW Dress mo.
19. Use CAESAREAN in a sentence.
____ Lintek, anak, mag-ingat ka, CAESAREAN Toy Truck mo iyang laruan mo.
20. Use CONTEMPLATE in a sentence.
____ Pare, ang dami-daming pagkain, pero,
Plate CONTEMPLATE .
21. Use ARTESIA in a sentence (if you don't know what this is, it's a city [or street] at the L.A. COUNTY in CALIFORNIA)
____ Nako naman, ang ganda-ganda nang bebot na yun,pero, ma-ARTESIA. Shy Girl
22. Use CADET in a sentence. Bachelorette Party
____ CADET ko si Maria nung isang gabi. Ngayon, ikaw naman ang CADET niya.
23. Use CARDIAC in a sentence.
____ Na CARDIAC Car 1 yung kotse ni Pedro noong isang gabi.
24. Use CENTURION in a sentence.
____ Na-CENTURION Moony si Pedro ng tatay niya dahil sa kalokohan niya.
26. Use DEFIED in a sentence.
____ What is 2 + 3? Eh DEFIED 5 , dali naman niyon.
27. Use DELICACY in a sentence.
____ Bagal mo... DELICACY Prison Guard mahuhuli na tayo.
28. Use DEPRECIATE in a sentence.
____ Sister, DEPRECIATE 7 already, kaya pwede na tayong kumain.
29. Use DIFFUSION in a sentence.
___ Brownout... Blackout siguradong DIFFUSION pumutok.
30. Use LAITY in a sentence.
____ Taga "laity" si Disco Dance Imelda Marcos.
31. Use MENTION in a sentence.
____ Ang laki ng bahay nila, parang House 2 MENTION.
A METHOD OF EARLY STROKE DETECTION: YOU MAY SAVE A LIFE
During a BBQ a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They
got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She
had suffered a stroke at the BBQ - had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed an getting to the patient within 3 hours which is tough.
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
1. *Ask the individual to SMILE.
2. *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
3. *Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE
(Coherently) (i.e. . . It is sunny out today) If he or she has trouble
with any of these tasks, call
9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
BE A FRIEND AND SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH AS MANY FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE, you
could save their lives.
Let your friends know.......
got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She
had suffered a stroke at the BBQ - had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke perhaps Ingrid would be with us today.
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed an getting to the patient within 3 hours which is tough.
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
1. *Ask the individual to SMILE.
2. *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
3. *Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE
(Coherently) (i.e. . . It is sunny out today) If he or she has trouble
with any of these tasks, call
9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
BE A FRIEND AND SHARE THIS ARTICLE WITH AS MANY FRIENDS AS POSSIBLE, you
could save their lives.
Let your friends know.......
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