Pinoy Jokes: ‘Clever’ answers in beauty pageants

Host: What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?

Contestant: Hmmm...taptoy.

Host: What taptoy?

Contestant: Taptoy na teddy bird.

* * *

Host: If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?

Girl: Bocaue.

Host: Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines. Why Bocaue?

Girl: Because it’s a magnificent place.

Host: Which part of Bocaue?

Girl: The Bocaue Rice Terraces.

* * *

Host (of Little Miss Philippines contest): Anong gusto mo paglaki mo?

Contestant: Maging lalaki po!

* * *

Host: What is your best feature?

Contestant: My graduation feature.

* * *

Host: Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?

Contestant: Bra!

* * *

Host: What is your favorite motto?

Contestant: If others can’t why, why can’t I?

* * *

Host: What would you like to say to foreigners?

Contestant: Please come back.

* * *

Host (of a gay beauty contest): What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?

Contestant (Hesitating, thinking and then smiling): Eggplant po!

* * *

Host: What is your typical day?

Contestant: I think Saturday po!

* * *

Host (of a gay beauty contest): Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?

Contestant: I think and believe na bilang isang bading...ano nga po ulit ’yung question?

* * *

Host: What is your favorite motto?

Contestant (After a long pause): Don’t have a motto, eh. (The crowd helps her out, "Time is gold! Time is gold!")

Contestant: I have na po. Chinese gold!

* * *

Host: So you’re vegetarian. What is your favorite vegetable?

Contestant: I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and...what’s that? Kalabash?

* * *

Host: Who is your favorite fictional character?

Girl: Jose Rizal. (Crowd starts laughing)

Host: Who is your favorite hero then?

Contestant: Hulk Hogan.

* * *

Host: If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?

Female Contestant: Hmmm... A bumble bee!

* * *

Host: What is your edge over the other contestants?

Girl: My edge...23 years old.

* * *

Host: How do you see yourself 10 years from now?

Girl: I’ll be 28.

* * *

Host: So you like reading. Who’s your favorite author?

Girl: Hmmm... Shakespeare.

Host: What works of Shakespeare?

Girl: Hindi ko po alam, eh.

Host: But he’s your favorite.

Girl: Eh kasi patay na siya, eh!

* * *

Host: What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?

Girl: Drugs.

Host: Why?

Girl: Mahal, eh!