Thursday, February 02, 2006

Love, Lust, and Marriage

LOVE ----- When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST ----- When your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room.

LOVE ----- When intercourse is called 'making love.'
LUST ----- When intercourse is called 'screwing.'
MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about?

LOVE ----- When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST ----- When you argue over who gets the wet spot.
MARRIAGE - When you argue over money.

LOVE ----- When you share everything you own.
LUST ----- When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE ----- When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST ----- When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - What's a climax?

LOVE ----- When you phone each other just to say, 'Hi.'
LUST ----- When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to bitch.

LOVE ----- When you write poems about your partner.
LUST ----- When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.

LOVE ----- When you show concern for your partner's feelings.
LUST ----- When you couldn't give a shit.
MARRIAGE - When your only concern is what's on TV.

LOVE ----- When your farewell is 'I love you, darling...'
LUST ----- When your farewell is 'So, same time next week...'
MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief.

LOVE ----- When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST ----- When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE ----- When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST ----- When your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them

LOVE ----- When nobody else matters.
LUST ----- When nobody else knows.
MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows.

LOVE ----- When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST ----- When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.

LOVE ----- When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST ----- When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought.

LOVE ----- When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST ----- When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.

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